There are some malicious opinions aligned to marriage, such as the impossibility of further academic study, difficulties to advance careers, or even helping parents in need. Those opinions become a reason for some people to avoid marriage at a young age and thus postpone marriage to at least around 30 years of age. Funnily enough, the same people who admit the mentioned reason is also the people who are having an affair with the opposite sex without bonded in marriage, while simultaneously advancing their consecutive study and working with a side-job for their financial support to ease parent’s shoulder. Inconsistently ironic.
I believe marriage is not something that would hinder personal development, whether it’s for having a master/PhD degree, building a career, or just obedience to their parents. Instead, marriage itself could be considered as a way to help people to achieve the condition more conveniently. You might ask: how and why?
By having an earlier marriage, we could get helping hands that elevate an enormous number of our burdens. A spouse would be a factor that splits our daily tasks so that we won’t be encumbered by whole household chores as a single person. Your wife might help to tidy up your files on the desk and could be a friend to discuss the topic taught by your lecturer just by the morning ago. Your husband is a person who could help you write your thesis or elaborate on how the problems that you’ve just faced in the office that evening should be encountered.
Other than that, a spouse is a great way for everyone alike to get the motivation to achieve their dream. It is no secret that behind every great man, there’s always a supportive woman; and the same also applies, that every great woman attains their dream through man’s support. For sure, marriage is a tough relationship that inquires much responsibility to be fulfilled. But, that doesn’t mean such tasks eliminate any goodness within marriage. Instead, marriage itself offers much greater rewards than a burden that is only a few to count of.
Though I do know some couples didn’t go very well at their marriage at youth, however that cannot justify everybody else the same as theirs. There are also plenty of young couples that go very well through their marriage, while at the same time they also achieved a master degree and even doctoral study.
I have a friend who is having an undergraduate in Law degree, at the last semester he went building his own path by marrying a hafidzah girl. On his graduation day, he goes celebrating his newly acquired degree with his wife with a baby on her shoulder. Lately, this friend of mine is continuing his study in Management degree in Surakarta. He even asks my father for a recommendation letter for his admission.
I also know my senior a year above my who is married while undergoing their undergraduate study. I don’t really know their life now, but I assume they went very well as the husband is a takmir (person who take care of the mosque) which indicate his great Islamic understanding. I’m sure his wife is in a good hand.
You might say, that there are also couples who are undergoing terrible marriage or even had a divorce because their marriage was at a young age. But, if you look at most cases served by the media about their reason for breaking up, it could be concluded that the problem isn’t because of their youth. Instead, they broke up for a reason one of them is cheating, clinically mentally unstable, or impatient out of the present economical condition.
We cannot say that young age determinates an absolute psychological condition for their instability, because there are also couples who are mentally mature in their 20s. Maturity isn’t defined by age, it is formed by the background of education and social environment of each person. There’s also a chance that internal personality traits bring maturity at an earlier pace.
It is not fair either to say earlier ages could be a cause for a greater chance of cheating between spouses. Physiologically speaking, an action of cheat doesn’t only happen at a young age but also at a later age. The possibility of an elder betraying the trust of their years-bonded spouse isn’t zero. This foul act could only be done by persons who are having a bad internal traits or lack good role of models from people around them.
If the primary obstacle is the financial status, then it would not match every condition either. If the young spouses are willing to marry with a minimum wage lifestyle, the chance of a successful marriage would then rise up higher than those who do not dare to take a risk to do so. It would be then a better choice for each spouse to consult and be known of each other before taking the marriage, so they would understand what they are willing to take at their future marriage.
If I could conclude this writing, I would sum up every point of those people who are mocking an earlier marriage by a single sentence: you are being fooled by your own though. It is not a surprise that almost all our population is filled with people who are afraid of doing something because of their own thought. They lack courage and proudness to do what they want, fearing that the consequences are way too terrible to be true. Sadly, these people also force their own thinking through their opinion, asking every part of our society to abide by fear of their own thought.
We should consider by now not to take the words of others and instead choose our own path. If we want to marry at a young age, then so be it: just marry. But if you do not, then just postpone it for the future, and never push everyone aside because they do not share the same view such as yours.
Labuhan Pikir 